何をやっても遅い。いくら早くやろうとしても、気持ちが焦るばかりで、目的も目標も方法もいちいち分からず、そのためのスピードもまたノロく、人の背中がどんどん離れていくばかり。夢か現実か、そんな気分ばかり。秋のせいではない。
そんな気分はきっとわたしだけではないと思うけれど、皆口に出したくないのだろう。そんな思い気分を加速するだけだし。
立ち止まることができない。前回「Take your time」で「自分の時間」について書いた。いくらか前向きな気分で書いたが、ふと自分の足元を見ると地面さえないことに気づく。自分はどこに立っているのかが分からない。自分のもっているもの、こんな状況を変えられるものは何だろう。何にも持っていない気がする。失くしたのか、それともはじめから持っていなかったのか。
I wonder how much time I have。It depends on how many years you live from now on.、In reality, no one can know their own lifespan.、I don't feel like it's a waste to do the calculations.。Still、When you reach the age where you start thinking about the end、It seems like it makes you want to prepare for the “closing ceremony”。
10 years left、This is my own (simply intuitive) prediction of lifespan.。One-third of the time is spent not being able to do anything due to sleep or poor physical condition.、At least three and a half years。The net amount of time spent on work and other daily life is about 3 years? I don't have any savings, so I might need it for a longer period of time.、By then my body won't be able to move anymore、Maybe something like that。
other times、Drawing pictures (I doubt if I have the luxury of doing so)、Time to write or read books、Once in a while, I take time to enjoy a delicious cup of coffee...I've been doing that for about three years now.。So it's been 10 years。However、This "three years" is the net time.、If you want to research something、So much time that I might be able to do at least a small summary.。If it's a picture、You might be able to draw at least one picture that you really want to keep.。If I could make a picture like that、That's enough for me、I think it's okay to die just like that.。Maybe the people around you will be happy to see you off.。But、The opposite is true if you get sick.。All you have to do is cause trouble。That's all you have to be careful about。
in every sense、last chance。Even if you fail, there's nothing left to do。next month、I will be exhibiting at a group exhibition in Ginza.、As we are just reaching the 10th break,、それを最後にもう銀座や上野、六本木などへ出品することはやめるつもりです。せいぜい埼玉県内だけ。That said,、「まなじりを決して」というほどの切迫感でも悲愴感でもなく、やれるところまでやる、中途半端で終わるならそれはそれでよし、という平易な気持で残り10年に望みたいと思っています。自分の残り時間を、自分のペースで最後の消費をする、ティク・ユア・タイムと自分に言い聞かせながら。自分の時間を他の誰かに残せるわけでもないし、hey。
On Friday, the weakened tropical cyclone of Typhoon No. 13 passed through the Kanto region.、It was the first day after summer vacation for the blue seagull painting class.、Driven by typhoon information、class has been canceled。The next day (September 9th)、The typhoon will not be a one-off、The sluggishness that seems to be a low pressure system still remains.。The next day, September 10th (Sunday), was also a little cloudy.、Sunny for now。That's why the temperature is high、Midsummer day has returned (actually, the 9th was also midsummer day)。
Classrooms will virtually resume from today, September 11th (Monday).。A person who could barely draw due to the heat、Blessed with sunny weather (scorching sun!)、There were various people who were playing around too much and couldn't draw.、I was so impressed that there was someone who drew a new screen.、A bit of a happy “unexpected” 。It may have been an inspiration to everyone。By the time the afternoon class ends,、The weather has changed to a clear autumn sky.。Although it's still hot, it's still hot、My core of heat is gone、The air seemed to be becoming more transparent.。
Come to think of it、when walking、More than half of the rice fields have already been harvested.。This year is 7、The average temperature across the country in August has significantly exceeded the previous record high (according to the Japan Meteorological Agency).、It seems that the rice harvesting period has been brought forward (according to the bulletins of each prefectural agricultural technology research center).、(They warned that during high temperatures, ``delayed cutting'' could lead to quality deterioration such as ``cracking.'')。
``Autumn'' is also well known as a seasonal word in haiku.。In the yearbook、It says, ``You will be able to clearly feel the atmosphere of autumn in both your eyes and ears.''。The air is clear、Distant mountains start to look a little closer、"I can hear distant sounds better."、In the "autumn of life", everything becomes distant "from both eyes and ears"。In other words、Does that mean there is zero plus or minus between weather and menstruation?。The average maximum temperature may be set again in September.。