Month: November 2016

i had an older sister。He died six months after I was born.、Of course I don't know your face、My sister must have seen my face.。He was 2 and a half years old。I don't have any photos because it was a rural area at the time.。Mother pinches her daughter's soft hair、It was kept for a long time (probably still is)。When I was in the lower grades of elementary school、I remember my mother showing me this at some point.、I've seen it myself several times since then.。

The pacemaker is、To the heart where accurate electrical signals no longer reach、A device that accurately transmits signals tailored to a person's physical activity.。That's now、It's starting to move inside my chest as a part of myself.。

The pacemaker itself does not move.。It's just a cold (not cold) machine.。But from the moment they cut open a piece of my flesh and embedded it inside.、share life and death with me、It has become a particularly important part of me.。ahead、important important hand、foot、Eye、Even ears etc.、I can't say it won't be lost to me, but、That's all for as long as I'm alive、never lost。

night、When I woke up and somehow stroked it over my underwear,、It's still a bit painful and swollen.。All the people and things that have happened up until now have been involved.、This is a machine that literally jumped into my chest.。I have to take care of it。

that's why、It's not the name of a machine called a "pacemaker."、I'll give it my own name。Let's call her "Yoko" for now.。that's my sister's name。2016/11/29

Suddenly “absolute rest”、I was told not to get out of bed、I was told that it wouldn't be surprising if I fell at any time, and the reason why.、The meaning of those instructions continues even after surgery.、I didn't understand。

I was just looking at the numbers on the monitor in bed.。30It is difficult to rise above ~35.。On the other hand, it sometimes drops to 27,28.。It is said that when you wake up from a dream, you will be 65 or 70.、Other than feeling like praying、my head doesn't work。The numbers shown have little sense of reality.。

There is an explanation of the surgery、There is a description of the equipment。I can understand each、I head to the operating room with my heart still in the sky.。

About 2 days after surgery (26th)、Almost all plans canceled、Finish contacting people about moving etc.、I've finally calmed down。

Why didn't I notice the symptoms until I needed surgery?。what to do now。

I thought that "rest" literally meant just resting quietly.。Of course you're right、At least it doesn't just mean "do nothing"。Do nothing “actively”、It is。It turns out that ``doing nothing'' is the exact opposite of ``meaningless.''、I finally understood it, even if it was late.。

Communication about work and meetings is certainly important, but、Even if I don't die、If you violate bed rest and prolong your hospitalization,、Contact becomes meaningless。To exaggerate a little、Even my illness is a result of my life up to this point.。And、The surgery itself was the result of the concern, encouragement, and efforts of many people.。In order to make full use of it、The biggest action you can take right now is to rest.。 2016/11/30

 

 

It's a strange story, but、Watching an electrocardiogram is surprisingly fun。It seems like it's just a simple repetition、I don't get tired of it for some reason。And it's my own、It's only natural that we feel even closer to each other.。Besides,、this number。This is very similar to my membership number with an organization.。We're as close as classmates。

these 6 days、never leave me、Showing heart data。Face and style、Rather unsightly though、The heat emitted from the equipment is also transferred to my body.、It's like I'm holding a living thing all the time、It feels like my favorite toy、cute。I want to get it and go home、That's not possible。I'm sure I'll let it go eventually when I get home.。It's better to leave cute children here.。2016/11/28