Kotodama

           「モデルスケッチ」  水彩

言霊(ことだま)というのはむかし文章を書く人たちの間で「一つ一つの語句文にも魂が宿り人に伝わるからけっしていい加減な言葉をつかうべきではない」という戒めとしてよく言われていたらしい

わたしはひねくれものだから絵画などの造形表現がそうであるように革新・破壊をもっとする方が良いなどとまるで今のトランプ氏のような考えで言霊なる単語自体を軽視していた

But、Recently、それはわたしの浅はかな理解だったのではないかと思うことが多くなったそれはむしろ「有言実行」に近い意味を持っているのではないか、This person is building his "own" snowboard "road"。有言云々もまた少し解釈がずれるがそれ自体が逆説的な言い方であって「『実行(実現)したいならば』有言する意」でもあり得ると
 他人に対してだろうと自分に対してだろうと「言葉に出して言う(書く)」ことはその瞬間からそれは自分を離れて独立した一つの「新たな存在」となるその存在が自分を縛り同時に先へ進める推進力ともなるそんな意味を持っているのではないか、That's what it means。むろんもともとの意味は初めに述べた通りであろうが

言葉を慎めと言うだけでなく可能にしたいことを言葉にすべきだということそしてさらに言えば望まないことを言葉にしないということにもなるかもしれないいわゆる「忌み言葉」にはきっとそういう感覚が宿っているのだろう言霊のほうが自分より上位になって自分自身を変えかねないというある意味で怖い感覚でもある「良き言葉悪しき言葉も自分に還る」それが言霊の真意ではないかと

Story of "The Afterlife"

View from the window Pen sketch

From that world、I just came back。It's literally "survival"。I have repeatedly said things like ``I don't care if I die anytime'' or ``I want to die soon.''、Let's be a little more careful from now on。Because I got a glimpse of a horrifying and scary world。

I haven't actually been to the "other world"。I、I just took a quick look around the entrance.、It's actually presumptuous to use words like "survival", but、That's definitely what I felt。

it is、Just a short distance from our homes、Or rather, it's between the houses.、It is also located in a place that many people frequent.。And even though it's easy for anyone to tell the difference、Many people seem to pretend not to notice it.。No one is standing there anymore。Almost all of them were lying on their backs.、breathing quietly。I get up several times a day、Eating food brought in from somewhere.、Eat and immediately lie back on your back。It's a conveyor belt that moves so slowly that you don't even notice it.、After a few days, weeks, or months, it will no longer be within anyone's reach.、It has become an artery to the “other world” from which there is no return.。

“This world” that I looked back on from there、It will snow in the morning today、the weather was rough。put up an umbrella、How to walk against the wind、Might be difficult for people with bad legs or hips。Compared to the terrifying peace of that world。But、that's what it means to be alive。Pain, bitter feelings, and various contradictions、It really looked like being alive。
I looked back at "this world" from just the entrance.、Holding up a "last minute" sketch。

The day when you can't do anything

Title undecided Mixed media
"View from the hospital" pen sketch

I can't do anything today。Or rather、I feel like my day will end just thinking about the hospital.。It's just a "test"、There's a lot of pressure because I'm not used to it.、I can't do almost anything else。

Even if it can't be helped that I can't draw.、read a book、I guess I can think of some ideas.、I've been preparing for that、I can't get anything。restless。