整理整頓

Appleー背景の練習(CG)

「整理整頓」・・・ガキの頃から苦手だねつーか実は意味もよくわかんねえんだよね整「理」はともかく整頓の「頓」ってなんだよ?おめーら知ってる?—あ、yes。あなたたち(意外に)インテリなんだね—ふっと出た「インテリ」って少なくとも60歳以上の人しか使わない語感―万年ガキだと言われたオラも現実には歳をとったんだね

オラたちが小学生の頃は「児童会」ってのがあってよ。6年生の時なぜだかオラが会長にされちまっただよヤンだぁどうスッペ・・・と思う間もなくオラの本心ではぜんぜん興味のねえことをどんどんやることになって会長っつーことでオラが先頭に立たされちゃうんだよね嫌だったな—「保健委員会」とか女子の多い委員会があって「ハンカチをちゃんと持ち歩きましょう」なんて今でいうキャンペーンっつーのなんかやった手も洗わねえでおにぎりなんか食ってるオラがハンカチなんて—なんだか急に女の子になったような妙な恥ずかしさがあってずーっと気持ち悪かったのを覚えている他にもいろいろな委員会があって薄暗くなるまで意味のないことをしゃべくったあげく「ケツを取ってください」とか言われ「ケツってお尻のことかな」と思ってるうちにケツを取られ会長なのに多くの場合少数派という変なオラだった

オラはさかな(魚)と動物と絵以外のほとんどに興味のない子どもだったウサギや狸をわなで獲れば母方のジジのところへ持っていくジジの傍でその解体を見ているのはとても楽しい時間だった魚を釣れば自分で捌いて家族のおかずにしたり母の好物の蟹を獲りに早起きして磯に出かけたり蟹釣りに夢中になったり賢い狐と3年間ずっと知恵比べをしたり今から考えると童話の世界を実体験したようなものだったいつも一人でそんなことしていたからなんでも多数決というやり方には今もしっくりなじまないマタギの家に行き熊追いの猟犬や鉄砲を見せてもらった記憶も—大脱線整理整頓の話だった

魚も猟の獲物も絵も?—だいたい手元には無くなってしまうものばかりだからそもそも整理整頓の必要がなかったせいぜいスパッツをかける釘ワナ用の針金や竿・針・仕掛けなどを置く場所スキーや橇を直ぐに出せる場所に置くだけそれ以外の整理整頓の習慣が無かったのがわたしの整理整頓下手の原因ではないか(今回言いたかったことはココだけ)ということ(余談だがこう書いてみると学校以外でつまり家では全く勉強しなかった(宿題も)んだなあと思う—不思議なことにわたしの弟は実に「整理整頓家」(であった)それは性格による?―と長い間思っていた父(すでに故人)の病気以来なるべく毎年実家を訪ねているがだんだんに弟の整理整頓の「いい加減さ」が見えてきたやはりね―なぜかちょっと嬉しいついでにいうとわたしの息子もあまり整理整頓が得意ではなさそうだ妻は整頓はするが「整理」のまったくできない人これは問題がある―わたしは「整理」も「整頓」もできない人だから問題はない

Evenly

Hydrangea (CG sketch)

A person who is “even” is “cool” to me.。Since I was very young、I was aware that I was a person who was prone to panic.。And it hasn't changed even after decades。

in the human world、I'm definitely a timid person。I don't remember having any courage.、Even if you go in a group, the third row is the best.。Of course the person waving the flag at the front is cool, but、What I thought was cooler than that was the person standing at the front without a flag.。

Leadership for me、always at the top、Even though I have taken on all the responsibility, I am still ``still calm.''、that's the opposite of me。Even if it's natural to admire such a person,、Just longing for it、Not wanting to be that kind of person is probably ``cowardly.''。Me as a child、My mother laughed and said I was “scared”.。I was embarrassed, but it can't be helped because it's true.、I don't remember daring to object.。

Is it because I'm getting older?、The meaning of “dandan” has become unrelated to leadership.、It has become literally “dandan”。Is it because I have come to realize that “living a peaceful life” is actually surprisingly difficult?。Recently, I have started to prepare a little more (in advance) than before.。I know that I can only do what I can't do, but I'm frustrated、If I didn't do that, I wouldn't be able to do anything.。Everything used to be “haphazard”。Some people mistake that for youth.、The reality is、imagine the future、prepare for it、I just didn't have the sense or ability to prepare.。Looking back、I feel like it wasn't just luck that I was able to come here safely until now.。In today's rapidly changing world,、そんな偶然性だけであらゆることを乗り越えていくのは無理だとやっと多くの人の通った道をわたしも踏んだからなのかもしれない

Arrogant — 2

Hydrangea (CG sketch)

(Continued from the previous "arrogance")
Is it arrogant to think that I am honest and humble? Well then、As long as you don't belittle yourself、Doesn't that mean everyone is arrogant? That's it、I know how it feels to get so angry that the endings of words become garbled.、But、Let's say it is so。

I don't think I'm arrogant、Already arrogant、Let's put it in other words。Similarly, people who think ``I am humble'' are not humble.、I'd say it's arrogant after all.。This is not just a play on words、In fact, it may be said that it is a dangerous idea in the truest sense.。

What does it mean?。—often、We think of ourselves as ``very ordinary,'' ``common sense,'' ``nothing special (often humble),'' and ``not particularly evil.'' That's why.。That's why it's dangerous。Because he is a good person who professes to be honest, humble, ordinary, common sense, and has almost no merits.、They say it's dangerous.。As long as it's "normal"、“Others” are some kind of foreign existence.、A "normal" person with no clear outline、Before you know it、They don't realize that they are on the side of excluding others who are just slightly different from themselves.。I find myself in the middle of “normal”、Before you know it, you get the illusion that others are biased.。

There is no such thing as an ``honest, humble, good person.''。At least I'm not like that、Maybe you aren't either。sometimes tell convenient lies、or hide inconvenient facts、jealous of people、Show off something you're good at somehow、While saying with your mouth that you have no merit, you (in your mind) look down on the person in front of you, saying, ``At least I'm better than you.''、I think all the people I don't like should die.、that's me、Maybe you too、Isn't it?。

While forcing people to refrain from eating out together、There are politicians who have dined with them without any remorse.。``A politician's job is to meet people,'' he said, but、This is called typical arrogance.。But、As arrogant as anyone can see、I feel bad, but there is little actual harm.。On the other hand, it also serves as a good example for teachers.、It can also be defeated in elections.。But、The ``majority'' of ``ordinary people'' are unstoppable.。each and every one、In a sense, everyone is a little different.、It's not just about being honest or humble.、Unless you realize that you are a human being with both sides.、no one can stop me。I feel that fear intensely every day.。