Blue seagull

in most cases、In a private room, the person's hobbies and、something you like、felt as a whole。It's not just a physical space、felt by the person himself、It is also a psychological space so dense that it can sometimes be called a kind of physical space.。that's why、Usually do not allow other people to be there。

I don't live there now、What I feel when I clean up my parents' room、It is strange that there is no such density at all.。For example, my father's anorak for outdoor work.、Spreading out on the tatami with his sleeves open。hat on top、work gloves、socks。And another anorak on top of that、hat、work gloves。Mother's underwear rolled up on top of it、A heaping mountain of cardigans and outdoor winter clothing。Not a storage room in a mountain hut.、That's the couple's bedroom.。

Rather than a one-room house、A very spacious house with many rooms、My father and mother lived alone.。When my father returned from the mountain, he walked to his bedroom with the same feet he had just returned from the mountain.、So I took off my anorak、Throw your sweaty shirt on it、pull out a change of clothes、Did he go to the living room wearing that without taking a shower?。mother too、I went straight to my room after weeding around the house.、Did they just pile up stray clothes to throw on top of it?。my father's anorak、Spread out like the skin of a flayed beast、10The sheets were also overlapping。As if、My father collapsed there every time.、As if I was writhing in agony。

Anorak on the coat rack next to the entrance、Many layers of winter clothing are hung on top of each other.。in each pocket、Overflowing 100 yen lighters。There will be 100 in total。It must have been used as a place to store lighters.。Still discolored with sweat、many hats。I can't throw away things I'll never use。Even if it's about to become old while still being new、don't try to use it。Full of "old new items" that I didn't use until I died.。Besides the clothes, most of them were gifts (no、even clothing)。father and mother、what I like、Maybe I didn't have the courage to focus on what I liked.。I had electric blankets for 6 people.。

no one lives、I'm cleaning up my parents' room at home.。rather than disposal、just tidying up。Born in Taisho 13、My extremely energetic father had already passed away due to a sudden subarachnoid hemorrhage.。Even if my mother, who was born in Showa 1 (less than a week ago), died like this.、No problem with disposal。

Because there's nothing of value。There are so many things、Even though I don't even have a place to step (especially since I don't live there)、Hobbies and stuff、There is nothing that makes me care about the way I live.。無芸・無趣味。All that is overflowing is miscellaneous clothing.。Even the clothes、I can't find any particularity about colors etc.。just what you need、Just the amount。I can't see any meaning beyond incinerating everything.。

Speaking of “just living”、I think that's too cruel to say.、As I draw, I get rid of tension from my body。It's probably due to the times。go to war、What should we feed our children born in the Showa era?、They raised their own parents who were born in the Meiji era.、He took care of not only his many brothers but also their families.、I used up my body, time, money, and spirit.、Moreover, even if you are told to have a hobby,、I don't think I could afford that.。if、Even if you have “extra” hobbies、A battle to convince others of this、would require even more energy。To seek it on par with modern times、too cruel to them。in short、Now is the time of abundance、That's what it means。

Father is a high school elementary school student、My mother only graduated from elementary school (national school at the time).、Even in light of today's common sense, neither of them were a "stupid couple."。Especially my mother、If my family would allow it, I would have been passionate about learning.、Thoughts that I wanted to study more、Drops fell on me as a young child (I think)。

And yet、“What am I living for?” “How do I think about myself?”、As a shallow student, I questioned my parents.。It's more like a question to your parents.、Due to my own lack of understanding of history、It was just a merciless "finger bullet"。why their life、Has it turned into a ``rag that you don't care about throwing away'' in front of your eyes?、At that time, I was more than innocent.、without such imagination、I wasn't thinking anything。when i die、How does my son view my life?。My son is not an idiot like me.、I'm somehow with my parents、Same in the end、I feel like I'll end up being a person with no talent or hobbies.。