picture of life

O's work "Infinity" 2021 F30 Acrylic

The first day of the Blue Seagull Exhibition、The sad news quietly reached me at the venue.。

5afternoon the day before、much later than the scheduled time、Her painting was delivered to the art class on the second floor of the community center.。But the person is not there。When I asked, they said they were coming to the first floor.。The person who brought the painting was a staff member at the community center.。I'm wondering why、The person muttered something about the wheelchair.。Who's in a wheelchair? While I was thinking that, the person in question came.。“The stairs are so steep” that I can’t climb them.、It's late。I have a bad heart。breathing on your shoulder。

Why do you force yourself to bring it at a time like this?、I have to rest、I said,、I really wanted you to see it、say。When the picture arrived、At first glance I thought it was her best painting ever.、I told you so。He pointed out small points that could not even be called shortcomings, saying, ``If I had to make a few corrections, this would be it.''。But、You don't have to do it now、First of all, I have to take care of my body and rest.、I added、I never thought that would be our last conversation.。

When thinking about the placement plan of the work、I decided to put her picture in a prominent place.。Of course, it was a picture that stood out everywhere, but、To my friends who are drawing with the same worries.、You can draw freely like this.、This is because I wanted to send a message through her paintings.。in a sense、She took care of some of my current problems with my paintings.。Relationship between lines and surfaces、The problem of formability, the relationship between them and color.。And it is said that it is connected to the ``individual author''.、completely different dimension、However, the pursuit of issues that are inevitable for art、She was working toward the same goal as me.。maybe、I think she felt that way too.。It would have been fun in a way、It must have been quite tough.。And、He came up with a great answer one step ahead of me.。

Too bad is not enough word。As time passes, the sense of loss becomes deeper and deeper.、Even though I think so, about half of it、I still can't shake the feeling that something must have been wrong.。next picture、I wanted you to show me the next picture as well.。She also reads this blog a lot.、He sometimes asked me what he thought.。while listening to it、Write something related in your next blog、I have posted pictures related to it several times.。Looking at the picture、Including such small details.、I feel like her whole life is written there.。

The strength of “not meeting expectations”

This beauty is not for anyone to see.

Considerable effort is required to “meet expectations”。People around him praised his efforts.、If you are lucky enough to achieve results, you will have a bright life.。That's society's rules.、We have been taught these words before we even knew them.。People who don't live up to expectations are branded as bad people.、pushed to the bottom in society、In some cases, it is conveniently excluded。Not being able to meet expectations is a kind of fear。that's why、The intention of “not meeting expectations”、In a sense, it takes more mental strength than “meeting expectations”。

Paralympic medalists and others say things like, ``Anyone can make miracles happen if they don't give up,'' and ``Anyone can become who they want to be if they try.''、Not only people in similar situations、In the sense of giving hope to a wide range of young people、Has social “utility”。Their words must of course come from the heart.。But that statement、It is exalted as a ``moral effect'' that shows ``the importance of making efforts,'' separate from the real intention.、be used。They also mean what they say、I understand the effect。However, we must not forget that they are a kind of elite who were able to meet expectations.。far more people、I realize that we are not even blessed with an environment that allows us to make such efforts.、we know。The social perception that ``it is natural to make efforts'' is also a kind of pressure and coercion.。Those who find it psychologically painful、Isn't it a rather normal feeling?。

on the other hand、An artist is、These are people who have made it clear that they do not want to live up to expectations.。The very fact that art is expected to do something is contradictory.。In a broader sense, artists are also people who have chosen a lifestyle that can be said to be challenging to society.。Artists are not praised in their essential aspects.、When something happens, the first person to be oppressed by the political and social system is、そういう理由からであろう挑戦的ということは「反社会的」ということを意味しないむしろ全く逆で「先進的」と言うべきであることの方が少なくない企業などが常に技術革新など変化を求める経済社会とは裏腹に生活レベルでの社会というものは変化そのものを嫌うとよく言われるパソコンの苦手な人々が無意識のうちにそれが得意な人々を憎みがちなのはそういうことだだからぬくぬくと一つ所で満足できる自分たちとは異なるものに「反社会的」というレッテルを貼ってその流れを押しとどめようとする「今の若い人は」とわたしたち老人が眉をひそめるときそういう心理が働いているかもと考えてみることは間違っていない

期待というのは「誰かに」求められているものだその「誰か」が誰なのかを考えることは無駄ではない芸術家は誰かに何かを期待されることを望まないそれはうっかり自分以外の人間になろうとする危険があるからだ努力は人を磨きもするが自分を無駄にすり減らしてしまう可能性も持つ諸刃の剣である正直に言えば他人の期待に応えようとする努力は誰にとっても無駄だ、It is a sport that is firmly connected to the essence of current sports.。自分が好きなことを自由にやることこそそのような圧力に押しつぶされようとしている人をも解放するものだと信ずる誰にも期待などされず期待されても無視し自分のやりたいことをできる範囲でやるそんな「強い意志」がわたしにはまだまだ足りない

哀愁

          グラウンド  水彩 2010年頃?

「青いカモメ絵画教室」による「青いカモメの会絵画展」が9月14日から始まる(19日まで)その準備のためもあってあちこち資料を移動したりするうちにヒョイと開いたスケッチブックの1ページ目にこの絵があったするするっとその時の情景が目の前に浮かんでくる

もう何年も見ていない今はさいたま市になった岩槻の市営野球場だ岩槻の絵画教室の人たちとこの球場のある公園で野外スケッチをしたときの一枚ほんの数年前のような気がするが、including me、みんな若かったように思い出す誰がどんな絵を描いていたのかもおよそは覚えている

秋だった何度かここでもスケッチ会をやったが描いたのは秋の記憶しかない天気の悪い日は出かけなかっただけのことだろうが眩しいばかりにイチョウの葉が輝き足元に深々と積もる葉を蹴飛ばしながら描いたっけそういう元気で行動的ななかにふと感じた哀愁の気分それがこの構図になった