Category: Gallery

Evenly

Hydrangea (CG sketch)

A person who is “even” is “cool” to me.。Since I was very young、I was aware that I was a person who was prone to panic.。And it hasn't changed even after decades。

in the human world、I'm definitely a timid person。I don't remember having any courage.、Even if you go in a group, the third row is the best.。Of course the person waving the flag at the front is cool, but、What I thought was cooler than that was the person standing at the front without a flag.。

Leadership for me、always at the top、Even though I have taken on all the responsibility, I am still ``still calm.''、that's the opposite of me。Even if it's natural to admire such a person,、Just longing for it、Not wanting to be that kind of person is probably ``cowardly.''。Me as a child、My mother laughed and said I was “scared”.。I was embarrassed, but it can't be helped because it's true.、I don't remember daring to object.。

Is it because I'm getting older?、The meaning of “dandan” has become unrelated to leadership.、It has become literally “dandan”。Is it because I have come to realize that “living a peaceful life” is actually surprisingly difficult?。Recently, I have started to prepare a little more (in advance) than before.。I know that I can only do what I can't do, but I'm frustrated、If I didn't do that, I wouldn't be able to do anything.。Everything used to be “haphazard”。Some people mistake that for youth.、The reality is、imagine the future、prepare for it、I just didn't have the sense or ability to prepare.。Looking back、I feel like it wasn't just luck that I was able to come here safely until now.。In today's rapidly changing world,、そんな偶然性だけであらゆることを乗り越えていくのは無理だと、やっと多くの人の通った道をわたしも踏んだからなのかもしれない。

Arrogant — 2

Hydrangea (CG sketch)

(Continued from the previous "arrogance")
Is it arrogant to think that I am honest and humble? Well then、As long as you don't belittle yourself、Doesn't that mean everyone is arrogant? That's it、I know how it feels to get so angry that the endings of words become garbled.、But、Let's say it is so。

I don't think I'm arrogant、Already arrogant、Let's put it in other words。Similarly, people who think ``I am humble'' are not humble.、I'd say it's arrogant after all.。This is not just a play on words、In fact, it may be said that it is a dangerous idea in the truest sense.。

What does it mean?。—often、We think of ourselves as ``very ordinary,'' ``common sense,'' ``nothing special (often humble),'' and ``not particularly evil.'' That's why.。That's why it's dangerous。Because he is a good person who professes to be honest, humble, ordinary, common sense, and has almost no merits.、They say it's dangerous.。As long as it's "normal"、“Others” are some kind of foreign existence.、A "normal" person with no clear outline、Before you know it、They don't realize that they are on the side of excluding others who are just slightly different from themselves.。I find myself in the middle of “normal”、Before you know it, you get the illusion that others are biased.。

There is no such thing as an ``honest, humble, good person.''。At least I'm not like that、Maybe you aren't either。sometimes tell convenient lies、or hide inconvenient facts、jealous of people、Show off something you're good at somehow、While saying with your mouth that you have no merit, you (in your mind) look down on the person in front of you, saying, ``At least I'm better than you.''、I think all the people I don't like should die.、that's me、Maybe you too、Isn't it?。

While forcing people to refrain from eating out together、There are politicians who have dined with them without any remorse.。``A politician's job is to meet people,'' he said, but、This is called typical arrogance.。But、As arrogant as anyone can see、I feel bad, but there is little actual harm.。On the other hand, it also serves as a good example for teachers.、It can also be defeated in elections.。But、The ``majority'' of ``ordinary people'' are unstoppable.。each and every one、In a sense, everyone is a little different.、It's not just about being honest or humble.、Unless you realize that you are a human being with both sides.、no one can stop me。I feel that fear intensely every day.。　

Is it too much to go back to basics?

Even such a ridiculous image... (CG)

Even a ridiculously simple image like this、I'm done with everything I've done、It took hours to draw。called illustrator、It's an app that everyone knows by name.。I have already uploaded Illustrator images several times on this blog.、This image is by far the most ridiculous.。For example, the DM design for the blue seagull exhibition.、Actually, it was drawn using the same illustrator.。

Official tutorial for this app、I drew it by imitating step 1 of the introduction.。I've been using Illustrator for over 20 years.、Use another app when drawing、This one is only for layout。I only used it a few times a year、In the back of my mind, I thought, ``If only I could master this thing.、I thought, ``Maybe I can do something more interesting.''。Is that because of Corona? I went back to being a complete beginner.。

This has a shape tool.、A simple shape like this、Used for simple painting, etc.。When you look at a picture of an expert、How to use this simple shape with terrifying skill、On the contrary, it can be seen that this simplicity is used as a weapon.。—I understand, but、I didn't feel like doing it - it was difficult、It's a hassle、Considering the time it takes to remember it、I thought it was very impossible。Even now, my opinion hasn't changed at all.、For some reason I took the step、The temptation that burrowed into my mind was, “If only I could master this...”、Maybe it's because my brain has already been infected by the coronavirus.。

At this rate, it wouldn't be surprising if I gave up at any time.。'Cause I feel like I've become an idiot、本当につらいんだもの―ぜんぜん面白くないし。But、勉強ってそんなもんじゃん、ってロバ的な耐久力だけは人並みにあるのよ。数学もぜんぜんできない（今も）が、もしも数学が分かったらきっと世界の見え方が違うよなーという憧れがある。数学はもうチャレンジできないが、コイツはもうちょっとだけ粘ってみようと思ってるんだ。