Kotodama

“Model Sketch” Watercolor

What is Kotodama?、Once upon a time, among people who wrote texts, it was said that each word was、Because the soul is conveyed to the person who dwells in the text as well.、As a commandment to never use careless words.、Apparently it was often said。

Because I'm perverse、As in the case of figurative expressions such as paintings,、It is better to innovate and disrupt more、And so on, just like Mr. Trump today.、I was neglecting the word kotodama itself.。

But、Recently、Maybe that was my shallow understanding.、I find myself thinking more and more。Isn't that rather a meaning similar to "doing what you say"?、This person is building his "own" snowboard "road"。The interpretation of the statement is also slightly different.、That in itself is a paradoxical statement.、"If you want it to be implemented (realized), then I'll say something."。
I wonder if it's for someone else、What to say (write) in words even if it is to yourself、From that moment on, it separates from itself and becomes an independent "new existence."。That existence binds me、At the same time, it becomes the driving force to move forward.。Isn't that what it means?、That's what it means。Of course、The original meaning is probably as stated at the beginning.。

In addition to telling people to be careful with their words,、That you should put into words what you want to make possible.。And for that matter、It may also mean not saying what you don't want.。So-called "bad words"、I'm sure there's a feeling like that。Kotodama has become higher than me.、that you might change yourself、It's also a scary feeling in a way.。"Good words、Even bad words come back to you.” Is this the true meaning of Kotodama?。

Story of "The Afterlife"

View from the window Pen sketch

From that world、I just came back。It's literally "survival"。I have repeatedly said things like ``I don't care if I die anytime'' or ``I want to die soon.''、Let's be a little more careful from now on。Because I got a glimpse of a horrifying and scary world。

I haven't actually been to the "other world"。I、I just took a quick look around the entrance.、It's actually presumptuous to use words like "survival", but、That's definitely what I felt。

it is、Just a short distance from our homes、Or rather, it's between the houses.、It is also located in a place that many people frequent.。And even though it's easy for anyone to tell the difference、Many people seem to pretend not to notice it.。No one is standing there anymore。Almost all of them were lying on their backs.、breathing quietly。I get up several times a day、Eating food brought in from somewhere.、Eat and immediately lie back on your back。It's a conveyor belt that moves so slowly that you don't even notice it.、After a few days, weeks, or months, it will no longer be within anyone's reach.、It has become an artery to the “other world” from which there is no return.。

“This world” that I looked back on from there、It will snow in the morning today、the weather was rough。put up an umbrella、How to walk against the wind、Might be difficult for people with bad legs or hips。Compared to the terrifying peace of that world。But、that's what it means to be alive。Pain, bitter feelings, and various contradictions、It really looked like being alive。
I looked back at "this world" from just the entrance.、Holding up a "last minute" sketch。

The day when you can't do anything

Title undecided Mixed media
"View from the hospital" pen sketch

I can't do anything today。Or rather、I feel like my day will end just thinking about the hospital.。It's just a "test"、There's a lot of pressure because I'm not used to it.、I can't do almost anything else。

Even if it can't be helped that I can't draw.、read a book、I guess I can think of some ideas.、I've been preparing for that、I can't get anything。restless。