月: 三月 2012

我父親去世了。20123月13日上午8點22分。父親嚥下最後一口氣 5、6 小時前、由於大雪，八戶以外的火車停駛。、我乘坐哥哥的車設法到達了醫院。。監視器上脈搏數變為0的瞬間、病房裡只有我和父親。。

我的父親死了. 三月 13 在 2012, 在 8:22 在早晨. I just was in time for his death before 5 或 6 hours with my brother. Outside was in the snowstorm as impossible as relate the train from Hachino-he to Oh-minato. When his pulse was disappear from the moniter, I was there with only my father in that room.

當我一到醫院就看到了父親的臉、我感覺父親的死期已經將近了。、另一方面、既然我來了，我就可以做點什麼、儘管醫生早就放棄我了（主治醫生不值班也沒有回家）。。可能是為了宣布臨終消息。 ）、我的想法毫無根據。事實上，我的父親死了，卻什麼也做不了。。

When we arrived, soon I felt he would be die in not so longtime. 彼岸, I had strange confidence that I could save his own life unfounded. 當時, his doctor has been gived saving his life up already I guess. Actualy I couldn’t do anything as completly for my father, I must be allowed the fact of his death.

難道我就不能幫助我的父親嗎？我認為。6個月、至少3個月、我仍然認為，如果我全心全意地照顧他，也許就能治癒我的父親。。我們沒有這樣做的原因是因為我們優先考慮自己的生活。。如果你說我拋棄了你我也沒辦法。我父親想見我、為什麼不那樣做？、也許有種想問的感覺。

I wonder if I can do saving my father’s-own-life ? I have been imagined that he might be Come-back to our family, if I could take him care with apply myself, 只是當 6 或最低 3 months. Althogh I couldn’t, because I have to keep the life of my own family. Was I abandand him? He wants to complain to me, 我不知道?

照片中風車下的黑暗森林是父親種植的雪松森林。。山が大好きだった父自身の手で最終間伐を終え、森林動物群彼此之間有足夠的空間，、與不可接觸的森林有著明顯的差異。。植林後まだ50年に少し満たないらしい。隨著時間的推移，它會長成一棵參天大樹。。這裡是我父親的心所在的林。。

There is my father’s tree planted property that was viewed dark place in this picture. That is having good condition for trees now as he loved trees and its emvironmental nature. These trees just are little for use since only 50 years after his planting. They will be glowing up gradually. This mountain reminds me to him. 3/27

我父親覺得不舒服。有一天早上，我突然想到。我沒有父親的肖像。

My father has been bad for three weeks. 一天早晨，, I found that I didn’t have his portrait I painted.

我是一名畫家。而且，主題是人（雖然很難稱之為肖像）。。儘管如此、沒有我父親的肖像。。父親、母親、妻子、兄弟、我沒有畫我的任何親戚。。連自畫像都沒多少。當我祖父去世時、我在仍然溫暖的身體上畫了一個死亡面具。。剩下的都是我兒子的、只有一些偶爾的草圖。。

雖然我是一個職業畫家, but I have not painted any portraits of my relative’s. 即使我的自畫像，也是. 在exeptional案件, one portrait of my grand-father was painted as his deth-mask just when he died, I did it on his body like a horse riding. Other is even a few my son’s, occasionaly.

我越想越、這看起來很奇怪。我一直對人的臉和手勢感興趣。、我以為我比其他人觀察事物更深入。、這意味著什麼？

我覺得這更奇怪, the more thinking. Althogh I’ve been keeping curiosity about human’s faces, human’s manner and I believed I was a good human watcher, 為什麼我沒有做到這一點?

我的家人有太多的生活感。、這是否意味著他們脫離了繪畫的主題？但、我不認為生活感和繪畫有矛盾。。

Is this mean that the family is too close to me for object of painting pictures? 然而, I think that is consistable.

從現在開始，我會更關注自己和家人。、讓我們來畫一個熟悉的人。來自熟悉的圖案、創造出好照片的例子很多。。

I will painting many portraits of my familial people after now. It goes without saying that the greatworks will be born from a famirial goods or things for artists.