月: 三月 2012

我父亲去世了。20123月13日上午8点22分。父亲咽下最后一口气 5、6 小时前、由于大雪，八户以外的火车停运。、我乘哥哥的车设法到达了医院。。监护仪上脉搏数变为0的瞬间、病房里只有我和父亲。。

我的父亲死了. 三月 13 在 2012, 在 8:22 在早晨. I just was in time for his death before 5 或 6 hours with my brother. Outside was in the snowstorm as impossible as relate the train from Hachino-he to Oh-minato. When his pulse was disappear from the moniter, I was there with only my father in that room.

当我一到医院就看到了父亲的脸、我感觉父亲的死期已经临近了。、另一方面、既然我来了，我就可以做点什么、尽管医生早就放弃了我（主治医生不在值班也没有回家留在那里）。可能是为了宣布临终消息。）、我的想法毫无根据。事实上，我的父亲死了，却什么也做不了。。

When we arrived, soon I felt he would be die in not so longtime. 彼岸, I had strange confidence that I could save his own life unfounded. 当时, his doctor has been gived saving his life up already I guess. Actualy I couldn’t do anything as completly for my father, I must be allowed the fact of his death.

难道我就不能帮助我的父亲吗？我认为。6个月、至少3个月、我仍然认为，如果我全身心地照顾他，也许就能治愈我的父亲。。我们没有这样做的原因是因为我们优先考虑自己的生活。。如果你说我抛弃了你我也没办法。我父亲想见见我、你为什么不那样做？、也许有一种想问的感觉。

I wonder if I can do saving my father’s-own-life ? I have been imagined that he might be Come-back to our family, if I could take him care with apply myself, 只是当 6 或最低 3 months. Althogh I couldn’t, because I have to keep the life of my own family. Was I abandand him? He wants to complain to me, 我不知道?

照片中风车下的黑暗森林是父亲种植的雪松林。。最后的间伐工作是由我父亲完成的，他本人也热爱大山。、森林动物群彼此之间有足够的空间，、与不可接触的森林有着明显的区别。。显然，距离种植这些树已经不到 50 年了。。随着时间的推移，它会长成一棵参天大树。。这里是我父亲的心所在的林。。

There is my father’s tree planted property that was viewed dark place in this picture. That is having good condition for trees now as he loved trees and its emvironmental nature. These trees just are little for use since only 50 years after his planting. They will be glowing up gradually. This mountain reminds me to him. 3/27

我父亲感觉不舒服。一天早上，我突然想到。我没有父亲的肖像。

My father has been bad for three weeks. 一天早晨，, I found that I didn’t have his portrait I painted.

我是一名画家。而且，主题是人（虽然很难称之为肖像）。。尽管如此、没有我父亲的肖像。。父亲、母亲、妻子、兄弟、我没有画我的任何亲戚。。连自画像都没有多少。当我祖父去世时、我在仍然温暖的身体上画了一个死亡面具。。剩下的都是我儿子的、只有一些偶尔的草图。。

虽然我是一个职业画家, but I have not painted any portraits of my relative’s. 即使我的自画像，也是. 在exeptional案件, one portrait of my grand-father was painted as his deth-mask just when he died, I did it on his body like a horse riding. Other is even a few my son’s, occasionaly.

我越想越、这看起来很奇怪。我一直对人的面孔和手势感兴趣。、我以为我比其他人观察事物更深入。、这意味着什么？

我觉得这更奇怪, the more thinking. Althogh I’ve been keeping curiosity about human’s faces, human’s manner and I believed I was a good human watcher, 为什么我没有做到这一点?

我的家人有太多的生活感。、这是否意味着他们脱离了绘画的主题？但、我不认为生活感和绘画有矛盾。。

Is this mean that the family is too close to me for object of painting pictures? 然而, I think that is consistable.

从现在开始，我会更加关注自己和家人。、我们来画一个熟悉的人。来自熟悉的图案、创造出好照片的例子有很多。。

I will painting many portraits of my familial people after now. It goes without saying that the greatworks will be born from a famirial goods or things for artists.