Måned: Mars 2012

min far døde。201213. mars, 08:22。Far trekker sitt siste åndedrag 5、6 timer siden、Togene utenfor Hachinohe ble suspendert på grunn av mye snø.、Jeg klarte å nå sykehuset i min brors bil.。Øyeblikket da pulsfrekvensen på skjermen ble 0、Det var bare meg og faren min på sykehuset.。

My father was dead. Mars 13 in 2012, at 8:22 in morning. I just was in time for his death before 5 or 6 hours with my brother. Outside was in the snowstorm as impossible as relate the train from Hachino-he to Oh-minato. When his pulse was disappear from the moniter, I was there with only my father in that room.

Da jeg så ansiktet til faren min så snart jeg kom til sykehuset、Jeg følte at min fars død var nær.、på den annen side、Siden jeg kom, kan jeg gjøre noe、Selv om legen hadde gitt meg opp for lenge siden (ansvarlig lege dro ikke hjem selv om han ikke var på vakt).。Det var sannsynligvis for å kunngjøre dødsleiet.)、根拠もなく考えていた。実際はどうすることもできずに父の死を迎えたのだったが。

When we arrived, soon I felt he would be die in not so longtime. The other side, I had strange confidence that I could save his own life unfounded. At that time, his doctor has been gived saving his life up already I guess. Actualy I couldn’t do anything as completly for my father, I must be allowed the fact of his death.

私は父を助けることが出来たのではないか？と思う。６カ月、せめて３カ月間、介護に専念したら父を回復させることが出来たのではないかと今も思う。Grunnen til at vi ikke gjorde det var fordi vi prioriterte våre egne liv.。Jeg kan ikke hjelpe hvis du sier at jeg har forlatt deg。min far ville møte meg、hvorfor gjorde du ikke det?、Kanskje det var en følelse av å ville spørre。

I wonder if I can do saving my father’s-own-life ? I have been imagined that he might be Come-back to our family, if I could take him care with apply myself, just while 6 or minimum 3 months. Althogh I couldn’t, because I have to keep the life of my own family. Was I abandand him? He wants to complain to me, I wonder?

Den mørke skogen under vindmøllen på bildet er en sedertreskog plantet av min far.。Den siste tynningen ble gjennomført av min far, som selv elsket fjellene.、Skogens fauna, med god plass mellom hverandre, er、Det er en klar forskjell fra den urørlige skogen.。Det har visstnok gått litt mindre enn 50 år siden trærne ble plantet.。Det vil vokse til et fint tre etter hvert som tiden går.。Dette er Hayashi der min fars hjerte forblir.。

There is my father’s tree planted property that was viewed dark place in this picture. That is having good condition for trees now as he loved trees and its emvironmental nature. These trees just are little for use since only 50 years after his planting. They will be glowing up gradually. This mountain reminds me to him. 3/27

父の具合が良くない。ある明け方にふと考えた。父の肖像画が無いと。

My father has been bad for three weeks. One morning, I found that I didn’t have his portrait I painted.

私は画家である。しかも主要なテーマは（人物画とは言いにくいが）人間である。にも拘わらず、父の肖像画は一枚もない。父も母も妻も兄弟、親類の誰をも描いていない。自画像すらほとんど無い。祖父が亡くなった時、まだ温かい体の上にまたがるようにしてデスマスクを描いた。それ以外は息子の、折々のスケッチが数点あるだけだ。

Although I’m a professional painter, but I have not painted any portraits of my relative’s. Even my self-portrait is also. In exeptional cases, one portrait of my grand-father was painted as his deth-mask just when he died, I did it on his body like a horse riding. Other is even a few my son’s, occasionaly.

考えるほど、それは奇妙なことだと思えてくる。普段から人間の顔やしぐさなどに興味を持ち、人より深く観察していると自分では思っていたのに、これはどういうことなのだろうか？

I feel that’s the more strange, the more thinking. Althogh I’ve been keeping curiosity about human’s faces, human’s manner and I believed I was a good human watcher, why I didn’t do that?

家族では生活感が強すぎて、絵画の対象から外れてしまうということなのだろうか？しかし、生活感と絵画とが矛盾するというわけではないとも思う。

Is this mean that the family is too close to me for object of painting pictures? However, I think that is consistable.

これからは意識して自分や家族、身近な人を描いてみよう。よく知ったモチーフから、良い絵が生まれる例は数多いのだし。

I will painting many portraits of my familial people after now. It goes without saying that the greatworks will be born from a famirial goods or things for artists.