四十九日 / 49th day

老部(おいぺ)待休所にて  Oipe memorial place

父の四十九日の法要で下北・東通村に帰省した4月29日さらりと法要を終えそれまでの仮位牌を集落の待休所(念仏婆の為の集会所祈念堂恐山と近似の民間信仰的色彩が面白い)に移しこれで父も先祖の一人となった

I’ve been Higashi-dori village for my father’s memorial celemony based on buddism in Shimokita. It means 49 days passed from his death. It is quite common and important custom in Japan. After this celemony, all of living member of his family are able to do ordinary behavior. And then his spirit turn to one of our ancestors. 2012/4/30

日本仏教では死後49日というのはとても重要な意味を持っている日本仏教では死んだ日を1日目とし7日ごとに死者の生前の功徳についての裁判が行われるとする初七日は最初の裁判となり死者といえども「あの世での生死」がどうなるかの最初の裁判が行われるため緊張するそこで遺族が応援援護しようと最初のお布施を行うお布施とは社会への寄付であり必ずしもお坊さんに対して行うという意味ではない要するに亡くなった故人の社会貢献の不足分を遺族が代行するということだそして7日ごとに裁判が行われ最終第7回目で結審する審理は必ず7回で行われ最終回が最も重要だここでアウトなら死者は極楽浄土には行けず地獄に落ちることになるそのため遺族が死者に対して最後のお礼としてのお布施を積んで死者のバックアップをすることが重要になるこの後ではもうチャンスが無いのだ49日の法要が最も大事だというのはそういう意味である

“After 49 days from death” has very impottant meaning for japanese buddism. They say that every death person must be on trial every 7 days after death about his contribution to society (it colled “kudoku” ) at their living time. If the judgement means too short, that death person can not go to Heaven. The 49 days mean the 7th trial. This is final and most impotant chance. S0 most bareaved family would like to help them from this living world. Actually we served gorgeous dinner and money to the buddist priest specially. Sometimes it seems that cost is very big money .

この法要は僧侶にとっても収入源として極めて重要な意味を持っている現代日本において仏教は既に存在していないに等しいが死者の葬送に関してだけは依然として大きな存在感を持っている「葬儀経済」はいわば日本仏教の命綱なのであるしかも遺族の悲しみと悲しみを相対化しできるだけ心理的負担を軽く済まそうという社会的ニーズのはざまそして温暖化による死体腐乱との時間的プレッシャーとの合間にドサクサ的ではあるが巨大な存在感を持っているそれが49日法要の現代的意義であるがわれわれ日本人は葬儀に関しては問題化しないという不思議な国民性を有しているのである

This celemony is not only important for death person but the priest also on a viewpoint of economy. In Japan, real buddism seems disappeared already but it has strongly existance around the celemony like this. Economy with death celemony is a life-line for japanese buddism indeed. Although most of japanese feel death celemony is out of all problem.

久しぶりに描いた / Got good feeling

 

はまなす 水彩F4(部分) 2012

久しぶりに水彩を描いたこの前描いたのがいつだったかもう思い出せない少なくとも3月7日(水)以前ではないと思う。Kung gayon、まだ1カ月経っていないわけだが感覚的にはもう何年も経ってしまったかと思うほど「切れてしまった」

I painted a wator colour’s today. I don’t know when I did the latest one. I suppose it was within a month, but I feel for long time passing.

描き過ぎだ塗る面積が多いという意味ではなく考え無しに単調に描いてしまっていると意味だ画面と感覚がずれているということだろう

This is over painting, I think. It means that was painted too much narrative without deep thinking. It shows us the gap between this expression and my feeling.

それでも久しぶりに筆を執った喜びは画面に吹き出ているように感じるいいことだやはり私は描くことで元気になる人間だとあらためて感じた

Althogh, It seems that filled with joy on this picture. It has good feeling. I got a new understanding of myself who could refresh with paiting pictures. 2012/4/3

 

父が亡くなった   My father was dead

父の作った山

namatay ang tatay ko。2012Ika-13 ng Marso, 8:22am。Huling hininga ni Tatay 5、6 na oras ang nakalipas、大雪で八戸から先の列車が不通になる中を、Nakarating ako sa ospital sakay ng kotse ng kapatid ko.。モニターの脈拍が0になったその瞬間、Ako at ang tatay ko lang ang nasa kwarto ng ospital.。

My father was dead. March 13 in 2012, at 8:22 in morning. I just was in time for his death before 5 or 6 hours with my brother. Outside was in the snowstorm as impossible as relate the train from Hachino-he to Oh-minato. When his pulse was disappear from the moniter, I was there with only my father in that room.

Nang makita ko ang mukha ng aking ama pagdating ko sa ospital、Pakiramdam ko ay malapit na ang kamatayan ng aking ama.、sa kabilang banda、Simula nang dumating ako, may magagawa ako、Kahit matagal nang sumuko sa akin ang doktor (hindi umuwi ang kinauukulan at nanatili doon kahit wala siyang duty)。Ito ay marahil upang ipahayag ang kamatayan.)、Nag-iisip ako ng walang basehan。実際はどうすることもできずに父の死を迎えたのだったが

When we arrived, soon I felt he would be die in not so longtime. The other side, I had strange confidence that I could save his own life unfounded. At that time, his doctor has been gived saving his life up already I guess. Actualy I couldn’t do anything as completly for my father, I must be allowed the fact of his death.

Couldn't I have helped my father? sa tingin ko。6 na buwan、Hindi bababa sa 3 buwan、介護に専念したら父を回復させることが出来たのではないかと今も思う。Ang dahilan kung bakit hindi namin ginawa iyon ay dahil inuuna namin ang aming sariling buhay.。Hindi ko mapigilan kung sasabihin mong iniwan kita。gusto akong makilala ng tatay ko、bakit hindi mo ginawa yun?、Baka may feeling na gustong magtanong。

I wonder if I can do saving my father’s-own-life ? I have been imagined that he might be Come-back to our family, if I could take him care with apply myself, just while 6 or minimum 3 months. Althogh I couldn’t, because I have to keep the life of my own family. Was I abandand him? He wants to complain to me, I wonder?

Ang madilim na kagubatan sa ilalim ng windmill sa larawan ay isang cedar forest na itinanim ng aking ama.。Ang huling pagpapanipis ay nakumpleto ng aking ama, na mahal ang mga bundok mismo.、Ang fauna sa kagubatan, na may maraming espasyo sa pagitan ng bawat isa, ay、May malinaw na pagkakaiba mula sa hindi mahawakang kagubatan.。Tila wala pang 50 taon mula nang itanim ang mga puno.。Ito ay lalago at magiging isang pinong puno habang lumilipas ang panahon.。Ito ang Hayashi kung saan nananatili ang puso ng aking ama.。

There is my father’s tree planted property that was viewed dark place in this picture. That is having good condition for trees now as he loved trees and its emvironmental nature. These trees just are little for use since only 50 years after his planting. They will be glowing up gradually. This mountain reminds me to him. 3/27